A Fast For Heroes

They're busy, busy, busy at worship, and love studying all about me. To all appearances they're a nation of right-living people-- law-abiding, God-honoring. They ask me, 'What's the right thing to do?' and love having me on their side. But they also complain, 'Why do we fast and you don't look our way? Why do we humble ourselves and you don't even notice?'

"Well, here's why: "The bottom line on your 'fast days' is profit. You drive your employees much too hard. You fast, but at the same time you bicker and fight. You fast, but you swing a mean fist. The kind of fasting you do won't get your prayers off the ground. Do you think this is the kind of fast day I'm after: a day to show off humility? To put on a pious long face and parade around solemnly in black? Do you call that fasting, a fast day that I, GOD, would like?

"This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts. What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad, being available to your own families. Do this and the lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way. The GOD of glory will secure your passage.

Then when you pray, GOD will answer. You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.' "If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other people's sins, If you are generous with the hungry and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out, Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight. I will always show you where to go. I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places-- firm muscles, strong bones. You'll be like a well-watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry. You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, rebuild the foundations from out of your past. You'll be known as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again.

(Isa 58:2-12, MSG)

Have you ever had one of those weeks where it was too noisy on the inside? Where hearing your own heart was like trying to listen for the ring of your cell phone at a metal concert? I don't know what happens in my mind, but it has this amazing capacity to facilitate a huge amount of cross-talk. But I'd venture that not one of those conversations includes God's voice.

How can I be so sure? First, there's no peace to be found. Second, there's nothing resonating in my heart. Third, they all vibrate with the dissonant chords of fear. And that music just sounds like so much noise!

The fear that stirred things up last week was an old familiar one... finances. The drought of cash flow continues and at times makes me want to alternatively scream, cry and curl up in the fetal position. "Why", I ask God, for the nine-hundred thirty-second time, "is this so hard for us? I've obeyed you to the best of everything I know. I've laid down every strength of myself at Your feet? Why aren't my needs being met?"

And of course, I hear nothing. Because I can't. Too much music in the key of fear. Too much noise. And as the week went by, nothing changed. I felt desperate. Alone. Forsaken. Useless. Confused. Numb. Still getting nothing to guide me from my heart. And still broke.

One night near the end of the week, I found myself doing something, perhaps just for sanity's sake. I wish I could say I had a revelation and faith overtook me. I wish I could say I broke the dark force that has shut down the money flow. I wish I could say I just had peace. I wish I could say I found money to pay my electric bill on my doorstep. But I can't say any of those things. No, what I did was just pray something I don't think I ever prayed before. It went something like this:

"Jesus, I ask you to please just send someone who can carry my heart and break the weight of this need off of me. Send someone who can help."

And it dawned on me. I was praying for Jesus to rescue me, but I understood it to be for a person or persons here and now.... for a Jesus with human skin. For a person sent by Him. I was praying for Him to send a "savior" into my life and onto my path. I was praying for a hero.

And then I saw it all at once from another side. Suddenly I had entered into the place of the "oppressed". I was the underdog. I was the "poor". I was the marginalized one. And now I needed a hero! And I realized in a moment just a little bit what it feels like to be out on the streets of life, desperately in search of a "rescuer", only to find them all out partying at the superhero nightclub. And I realized just a little bit what it feels like to be stuck in quicksand just outside a beautiful home, crying out for help, yet being muted by all the noise of the party going on just inside.

And so it must be to live in this great bastion of freedom and opportunity called America and know that deep inside you are locked in a prison from which you cannot seem to escape. And the voices of despair and hopelessness taunt you, sounding so familiar day after day. These voices of your past still whisper - even shout out, like a deafening noise sometimes. Yeah, they're still there. The voices of anger and abuse and lies and broken promises. The voices of racism and poverty and rejection and abandonment. The voices from hell. The dissonant music of fear. The noise that becomes your friend, because at least it covers up the darkness and silence of your imprisoned heart.

I have a struggle financially, to be sure. But I have yet to miss a meal or lose my home or go without clothes or heat. And I know God has an answer, even when it is too noisy to hear. Just like He did for this time of challenge, since He has since met the urgent need of the week!

But what about the ones to whom God's voice has gone silent? Who is going to enter their prisons and stop the deafening noise and get them out? Who are the rescuers? Who is Jesus going to send? Who are the heroes?

In the scripture above (Is. 58), it's apparent that God has decided who the heroes are. They are me. They are you. But where are we? Are we trying to impress God with our personal piety and synthetic spirituality? Do we really think that we can ponder for years our very mission and yet never quite get out to the field and live it? Are we so comfortable with the "music" we've made for ourselves that we have forgotten that the dance of the Spirit calls us outward as it calls us upward? Are we full and fat and wanting more? Are we so out of shape that we are no longer able to run the race to win? Are we actually fit for a rescue?

Or do we need to fast?

And the fast He has called us to requires we stop eating from the endless buffet of spiritual treats. And that we turn off the party music. And stop our solo dancing. And that in fact we just leave the nightclub. Because heroes are needed somewhere out there tonight, right where there are people to rescue. And they aren't hard to find, if we would just look right outside our own doors. And although their voices are muffled and weakened with stress and pain and fear, they are crying. Are you listening? Am I? Can we even hear them? And will we even care if we do?

One way to be sure: fast the fast of heroes. Not so much the fast of food or drink, but of our selfish use of time and resources and energy. As the scripture above says, it's the fast of putting away our myopic self-interests to look out for those of others, especially those that have yet to find anyone looking out for them.

Such a fast moves us out of our petty little lives. And it will surely remove lots of the noise of our self-focused internal worlds. So that we might hear. And see. And understand. And save the day.

The fast is always about the flesh we put down. And the self we leave behind. And the cross we pick up. So we can indeed hear them. And come to their rescue. And then perhaps do what any real hero would do... introduce them to the Real Hero of this whole story. And that's called happily ever after indeed!

So as the cries go out for help, and Jesus turns to each of us, where will we be? And what will we choose to do in response to them... to Him?

Whose hero are you tonight?

A Heart's Desire

Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.

- PS 37.3-5, NKJV

Motives. Talk about evasive. Have you ever tried to come clean with why you're doing something? It's amazing to me how much I do out of my old nature. Out of fear or anxiety. Out of self-preservation. Out of doubting God. Out of selfishness, Out of unhealthy conditioning. Out of people-pleasing. Out of plain old pride.

It's funny how things tend to get clear pretty quickly when the Lord brings His light into my shadowy basement. But if I'm honest here, I have to say that He doesn't always get the access to my basement as much as He wants (or needs) to be invited there! And so many of my motives just go unscrutinized, moment by moment, even day by day. And, of course, it's pretty scary when you see how ugly your own motives can be. But then, every once in a while, you see something else. You see that somewhere in your new, true heart, pure motives are actually at work in you. And they're changing some important things from the inside out.

Last Friday night, Jesus was in my basement again. Only this time, He was showing me some stuff beyond the shadows, right at the core, that weren't altogether bad. No - in fact, what He was showing me was something altogether... good. They were things near and dear to me. Things I have hoped for; longed for; prayed for; dreamed of. Things that made my heart come alive with passion and energy. Things that were so real to me and such a part of who I am and who He made me to be that they were practically just an extension of my very life. Some were larger and some smaller. Some of great impact and some with meaning just for me. But none of them - not a single one - had come to fruition in my life yet. Because the room Jesus was in now was a most sacred space. it was the room of my desires.

And as He brought so many of my heart's wishes and longings and stories into His light, He said something to me. Something I couldn't really even accept - at first. He told me that every one of those dreams and desires and motivations was good and true and right and had been brought into that room... by Him!

Now I don't know how this makes you feel. But I'm in tears right now as I write this. Because somewhere in the places where I have tried to understand and do the will of God - somewhere in the subconscious reaches of my inner world - I have always struggled to square "my" desires with His heart. Take any of them and we'd have the same redundant conversations: Was the whole "heart message" something He wanted me to share, or was "qualified" enough to be trusted with? Was I living in His desire as a pastor of a church? Did my desire (largely still unfulfilled) to be able to lavish beautiful things on my wife line up with His will? Or being able to eventually take an actual vacation with my family? Or just desiring to start writing songs again (which I have been unable to connect with for some time)? And I was serious. Because to me, unless a desire came from God's heart, it might become an idol to draw me away from Him (and I don't say that piously, but as one who has been drawn away too many times to ever want to consciously go there again!)

And so, here's Jesus telling me that all of the things I have held in my heart have been from Him. And you must understand something at this point. I know the difference (usually) between a movement of my deep heart and an externally driven emotion, appetite or impulse. And so I had some reasons to believe my own heart by now in these areas. But my confidence had been so badly shaken due to all of the pruning and healing God has done over the past 6 or 7 years that I have become timid in these sorts of things. And yet here I was, being hit with a tidal wave of joy in knowing that these innermost desires were not of my own fantasy-making or fleshly drives. They were, in fact, from God Himself.

And here is where hope begins to rise up as the tears begin to fall down. God has not forgotten me. And He still has a dream that I'm a part of! And it's the dream that's resonating in me and has been in various forms all my life! And so now there's this rush of joy and freedom and goodness and a sense that I am once again caught up in the dance of life among the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And so enraptured and flooded with hope, I become energized to once again pursue those desires with everything in me.

Right, Jesus?

Jesus?

Father....

Wait, where did you go? You just showed me what I've been so unsure of. You've opened my eyes again. Given me life again. Got my heart back on track again. Now why I don't feel you... did you leave? Didn't you mean it? Don't you want me to have this joy? Don't you want these things for me? Don't you want me to run after... after...

It's then that I saw it. Psalm 37 (above) says that to delight in the Lord means that He will give you the desires of your heart. My delight in Him had brought those desires alive in me. But what I hadn't seen yet is that they weren't to be pursued to bring them to fullness inly life. He was to be pursued. Because the same delight I had in Him that made those desires fill my heart will be the same delight in Him that will allow Him to give me those desires in my life as His gift to me!

In other words, this is all grace. Nothing for me to pursue. Except Him. And nothing for me to do. Except what He tells me. And do you know what? After this epiphany, Jesus was there again. and now we were talking about motives. And He made something clear to me. Something my heart has always known but that I never could have delineated without His Spirit. And it is just this: we who are His sons and daughters have a new heart. And we have access to His heart. Our true desires are all from Him. And yes, we do have motive issues around desires, but this is when we derive those desires from the outside - the flesh - instead of from our true hearts.

Where we fall down is in two places: first, in the distortion or bending of our desires because our soulish hearts are still broken, which leads to a contamination of our God-given desires. Secondly, we fall down where, once we recognize a desire, we run out on our own to fulfill it. We try to earn it and work for it. To make it happen. And at that point, guess what? We're done. Blown up. Because the very fulfillment of that desire belongs exclusively to the Lord. And so we frustrate His grace. And ultimately ourselves.

And maybe that's why so many of our desires are still in the basement. We were moved by them deeply at one point in our lives, and so we moved. Moved to get it done. Apart from God, we took on something that was made for a dimension that we can't operate in alone. But we tried right? You tried and I tried and everybody tried. Except God. Cause we didn't pursue Him once the dream was in our sights.

So just call it what it is. Idolatry. And every pursuit of a desire instead of God further damages our hearts and contaminates our desires. And after quite enough of all this, we simply bury the desires. We decide they weren't even from God to begin with. And then we lose heart.

But Jesus came Friday night. And He told me He was there to give me my heart back at a whole new level. And so I'm learning again about that dance of the Spirit. To move in step with Him. Because it is the dance of the heart that enables me to flow in what He's doing. And as I feel those movements, within me, I respond to Him. I delight in Him. And He lives His dream through me. And in His dream are all my desires. And He's the One Who will fulfill them - every last one!

And that's a beautiful dance that I can't wait to really, finally learn. Because it's His dance in celebration of my desires!

Live Courageous!

Would Jesus be a Christian? (PART 1)

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet would stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He’d prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

- Todd Agnew, "My Jesus"

Our House Party last weekend still has me thinking about some things. Quite frankly, they're not the kinds of things that make me very comfortable. But I'm getting to that age, you know... the age when you're too old to be completely stupid and too young to be completely wise.

But I'm getting wiser (I think I heard the muted sarcastic applause - thank you for that). And I've figured out something in this phase of my journey... my life has to at some level become a gift to this world, and to the "footprint" of influence God has granted me. And I can neither be still or silent any longer. I can no longer live outside of the pages of the greater story God has written for my life. Because it's not about me. It's about "them".

"Them" is a reference to something that happened at our gathering Saturday night. And it was no doubt harmless enough in its inception. We went in a new direction for our worship time, in that we had some large flip chart paper and markers available and a number of people began to draw and sketch stuff, expressing their hearts. Denise drew an image of a cross with a heart in the center and blood spilling over onto one side of the ground, which responded by springing up some pretty flowers - a metaphor for life. (Now if you know Denise at all, you also probably know that she hates even the sight or mention of blood, so this had to be God-inspired!) But what was interesting was there were a few small flowers on the opposite side of the cross, where the blood did not flow. And they were alive but barely so and stunted in their growth as well. In her explanation of all of this, she simply said those flowers represented the people that were "not to be forgotten".

In other words, "them".

And might I add that that's exactly what has happened to "them". They have been forgotten.

Just like it was about 2000 or so years ago. Because then there were the Pharisees/rabbis. There were the scribes and the religious elite. And then there were "them". The ones forgotten.

They were the widows (whose remaining assets the Pharisees apparently "devoured" under the pretense of giving them blessing - sounds a bit like some TV ministries' campaigns, no?), they were the poor, they were the outcast "sinners" (tax collectors, prostitutes, beggars, drunks, thieves), they were the sick (believed to be so because of their alleged "sin"). They were the ones nobody wanted to extend a hand to, be in the company of, or even look at. These were "them".

And where are "them" in our day, in our culture? They are actually pretty easy to find, at least as long as you look outside of the religious clubs that we call "church". Because, you see, church isn't terribly conducive to their assimilation. In fact, church is usually the very last place you'll find them. Because, let's be honest. They're not entirely the kind of "club member" you'd be recruiting if you wanted to have a "nice" church.

And so I have been asking myself how I'm doing in terms of not forgetting "them". And I'm actually a bit pleased with my progress... I've moved from a "F" to a solid "D -". Yay for me! I suck a little less at caring! But without a doubt, I still suck! And that has me wondering about what kind of Christian I really am after all.

I think in lots of ways, I'm a typical Christian. I'm a pastor, so that at least means I usually will show up at church meetings. And I can pray and speak about God articulately... sometimes. And I try to keep my life in order and "nice" and ethical. And I pray and repent of sin as I'm aware of it. And I give offerings and even use various spiritual gifts when needed. I can do all sorts of work in ministry and have spent many years helping club members in times of need. And I can rip out a mean prayer in tongues. I've even built relationships with non-believers and shared Jesus with them. Oh, and I've got the three-point expository message down, baby!

And so I'm a pretty "good" Christian. And I suck. Because I've forgotten "them" way too many times. And so have so many of us "church" people. So many of us "Christians".

And that's exactly why they have forgotten "us".

Oh, by the way, that's also why the world as a whole has forgotten "us".

Because they already know what we will never admit to in our religious pride... that we just don't care. About "them".

We're pretty busy with our faith, you know. There are buildings to build (and then pay for for another zillion years). There are ministries in the church to "get done" (gotta get lots of volunteers to take care of those buildings, right?). There are lots of "needs" to meet among the people who are our "members" (we'll forget for the moment that about 50% of them were members of different churches a couple of years ago - and left because their "needs" weren't met). And of course, there are lots of classes and messages and teachings to work through because we all know that we'll finally be able to live a life of faith if we can just have more knowledge and just know "how to" do what the Bible says. If there just was another class on better marriages or finances or business practices... then we'd finally get it right (cause it's all about knowledge, you know).

And then maybe we could talk about reaching out to "them".

But when we do, let's be sure it's safe and our insurance covers us. Oh, and let's just do some very minimal contact stuff because we wouldn't want to scare any of our members. Maybe we need another class to teach how to hand out lightbulbs... nah, maybe not. Instead, let's just throw some money at a local ministry that does that kind of thing and then we can make sure we don't lose any members because we're making them uncomfortable. Instead, we can just have another class on raising kids!

Let's just be honest. We think we're all out on the edge in this "organic" emerging church model. (After all, at least the building and classes don't apply to us, right?) But are we club members or are we disciples who have laid down our lives for Him... and "them"?

I don't know about you, but I've still got too much club member in me. And God is wanting to expose this attitude... in all of us. Because to the extent we're myopically thinking about our little comfortable worlds, we're denying most of the real substance of the message of the cross, which is a love that laid down its life... and still does!

I know a few young people who will quickly say they follow Jesus but refuse to be labeled "Christian". I daresay if Jesus were walking the earth physically today, He would flatly refuse that label as well. Because of "them".

Ah... what about "them"? You can say what you will about personal responsibility and people making excuses about not coming to Christ because of their own sin and rebellious attitudes. And you'd be right, because at the end of the day, God is still going to ask each of us what we did with what we knew about Jesus.

But therein lies a paradoxical problem for us "Christians". Think about what Paul writes in Romans:

But how shall they ask him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? And how will anyone go and tell them unless someone sends him? That is what the Scriptures are talking about when they say, "How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the Gospel of peace with God and bring glad tidings of good things." In other words, how welcome are those who come preaching God's Good News!

Romans 10:14-15, TLB

Tell me, exactly what "good news" have we (the institutional /evangelical /modern church) given "them"? That they're sinners and need to turn or burn? That God is unhappy with them and that they are totally depraved? That (in a subtle way of course) their lives are a mess and that God can clean them up to be (horrors!) like us? That Jesus wants to save them from their sin so they can be brought under the very law they couldn't understand, much less desire, much less keep? That coming to Jesus means they have to (still more horrors) join a church (ours of course, is the best one)? That they can be just as bitter and unhappy and hypocritical and phony as us?

So again, where's the good news? The news about all of heaven being accessible now... about a True Love they've never seen before healing them... about God turning their willing acceptance of Jesus' sacrifice for them into a change of desires that will ultimately change their darkest behaviors into works of light... about a kingdom more beautiful and powerful and welcoming than any they've ever known... about the opportunity to find out who they really are and live a destiny they could never have attained before... about a love affair with the Hero of the greatest story ever told and with them having a key role in its outcome? And yes, about the cross and its cost - but not without the power of the resurrected life and the ascension into heaven itself in Christ. And, oh, yes, the blessings that God has for them in every part of their being and thier lives!

Is this what they have heard? Not from my experience (which is becoming fairly significant at this point). They have heard how bad they are, how unlike "us" they are and how mad God is at them. They have seen everything from us but Jesus, including hypocrisy, criticism and condescension. They have determined that God and Jesus are good (and many of them believe deep down, by the way), but that all things church and Christian are to be avoided at all costs.

My point is that they can only respond to what they have been shown and shared... and neither of these looks much like Jesus.

And on top of it all, we just shun "them". They are already aware of their own social rejection. And we just affirm it, again. And again. And again.

And after all of this, I don't know where to begin yet with "them". I'm doing a few things, extending my life and my spiritual (I like that word better than "Christian" these days!) being out among people, looking to serve more, etc. But I know I haven't gotten dirty or bloody enough to have earned a right to be in their stories. But I will in the days ahead. And I want very much for us as a church to give up our seat at the table to go and find some hungry people who need to eat what we've been feasting on for years. We can't afford to wait till we're ready, because that day will never come. We're more than ready now to simply lay down our lives and love people. And I want that to be my - our- legacy in this world.

Because Jesus loves "them". And He would never be a Christian if that meant forgetting "them". Because they are why He came, and why we are sent.

And isn't there an irony here too important to miss? We're all the same -every one of us! We all have the same issues and so many of them are our struggle to matter and find meaning. And sometimes we as believers have the most difficult struggles because we hide them so well.

In the world centered around my search for identity, rejection is like the poison arrow I avoid at all costs. And that's why we so often see the "us" distinct from the "them". We can't afford to be on the outside, can we?

And yet, we are all outside apart form Jesus. Which means except for Him, we'd be "them". And if we live in His love, you know what? We start to walk so close to "them" that we become as "them". And then maybe in a good, real, meaningful way, they can become as "us" as we are in Jesus.

And that's why they call it "incarnation". And so, it's time to "incarnate". To stop being "Christians" and to start being Jesus. To "them". Because we can't afford to allow "them" to be... forgotten.

I'll have more to say about Jesus and Christianity in coming posts... stay tuned!

Live Courageous!!!

Losing the Gavel

Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

- Rom 14:4, New International Version

I want to try and keep this short tonight , because what I have to say is really all too simple.

It's just that it's happened again, like so many times before.

I judged.

I was thinking about somebody and going through what amounts to a checklist in my mind. You know the ones - where a company places their product in a table or chart with a couple of competitors and then lists features that their product has (and the others don't typically have). And then each feature is checked off with regards to which product has that feature. And of course - at least if the company has any kind of marketing savvy at all - their products will show many more features checked off and the consumer will think, "surely this is the best product on the face of the earth... I''ll take 10!"

That's what I do, you know. I make checklists. In my head. I see how I measure up against other people. And you know how it goes.... I have to list the features so I come out on top. I want to be the best on the face of the earth. Or at least I want other people to believe that. maybe that gets me past more of my own rejection.

I did it a couple of times in the past day or two, just casually, you know. But when I had my table filled out, I was finding myself wanting to fix the other people on the list. I thought things like, "if _____ would just be able to see _____ the way I do, he could really get out of his situation". And the I made too big of a leap. I started to ask God how He could give me the chance to impart my wisdom about _____ to my brother. And before it started, the conversation was brought to an abrupt halt.

By God.

He immediately revealed to my heart how prideful and condescending that attitude was, and then, to make matters worse, how often I have gone there, either on one side (I'm better than my brother) or the other (my brother is better than me). And I'm being really vulnerable here, because as I write this I feel like such a jerk and wonder if there's anybody else out there that stumbles over this. Because it seems to find its way under my feet. A lot. Too often.

And, you know, it all progresses innocent enough. Just trying to understand what God's doing in me and others. But it can spiral downhill way too fast. And then, although it can still look legit, it certainly isn't innocent anymore! And it's not anything about what God's doing either!

So I humbly submit to you that I have blown this way too many times and that it stinks as sin to God, even as it is a very core sin. And I am guilty. And repentant. And forgiven. But I want to be so much more... aware.

Funny, up until not too long ago, I thought I was one of the least judgmental people I knew (that may have been a clue of an issue, by the way - cause there I was with my chart again even in that very thought!). Lately, the thing God has been showing me is how "underground" the root of judgment goes. I imagine it goes all the way back to the root of the tree of knowledge, if you get my point!

So how about you? Where do you judge and how do you do it? Who tends to get the brunt? Does it make you out to look good or bad? How has it affected your life? Or am I the only one for whom the "shoe fits"?

I think this last point is especially important. What affect is our judging having on each other and those around us? Could it be this is the giant obstacle to love we still have left to overcome?

If so, I'm ready to take it head-on, if not fully able. I want to get rid of all of the roots from of that tree, not just the ones that look really bad on the surface. I want to kill the tree of knowledge because it always comes back to kill me. I want to live in God's life. And judging is just never gonna get into that flow all the way.

So rather than compare ourselves, let's just recognize the subtleties of judging . Cause it is very much the way we live when we're living from our heads. And all that results in is death.

I suppose God is driving this home in me because of the call He's placing on me and this church to Love Truly. There's no room for judgment if we're going to experience all the fullness God intends.

But then, there's never any room for such things when we're talking about the room where Jesus lives... our hearts!

Live Courageous!

God Lives Next Door

Jan and I were talking in our kitchen yesterday about a pretty much everyday kind of something, when I heard a knock on our door. She was doing dishes, so I went to the door and opened it to find our next door neighbor, a Hispanic lady, Suzy, standing there. She asked me how we were all doing (we don't know her very well as she's only been actively living there for just over a month) and proceeded to give me a nice basket neatly arrayed with what must have been hundreds of pieces of candy of all sorts. Of course, I said "thanks" with sincerity and then offered to go get my wife... but she just said, "no, don't make her come out in the cold... I just wanted to say hi." Then she headed back home.

Of course I took the basket in and showed Jan right away. Of course I opened up the wrapper and ate a couple pieces. Of course we talked about how cool the gesture was. But then I shared my feelings about how Latinos seem so relational to me and how we could learn so much from their cultures, and out of nowhere God seemed to interrupt me in mid-thought.

"It's me."

"What? What's You, Lord?"

"The candy. It's not a Hispanic thing. It's me. I just wanted to love you through Suzy."

My next thoughts were interesting, and just a little narcissistic. "She did that", I mused, "because she's seen God in Jan and me".

"No", the Voice countered. "She did that because she saw what I was doing and just did it too. I'm still trying to get through to you with my love, remember? She just did the thing my Spirit was already moving in and it was Me through her that brought you that candy. She did it because it was me. Like I said."

Now, I don't even know what kind of relationship Suzy has with Jesus. And I certainly don't know if she "heard" God tell her to bring that gift. All I know is now I was staring into that basket of candy and seeing the love of my Father. And I started to tear up. God was now speaking directly through the candy... directly to me: "I love you and I'll never quit showing you if you'll just let me".

And once again, I am undone.

God is so much bigger and better and more awesome than I can contain in my database or on my hard drive of a brain! And now my heart is pondering Him in ways I never could have considered before.

I had just read, just the day before this, the scripture in Acts 17, where Paul is explaining to the philosophers at Athens exactly Who the "unknown God" is that they were speculating about. Paul said something there that may rock our theology just a bit.

Cause you see, we "believers" think we have a lock on God working in our lives. We tend to think that before we get "saved", God is just mad and distant and throwing some extra logs on the fires of hell to get it just a little bit hotter to fry our butts. We tend to think that He has no use for or remotely kind thoughts toward anyone until that magic moment when he or she prays that "sinners' prayer", and asks Jesus in his or her heart. Then, presto! Jesus comes into your heart, and for the first time in your life, God now is fully engaged and you're the apple of His eye and His beloved child.

All or nothing. Feast or famine. Heaven or hell. God as loving Father or God as vengeful judge.

How about this: God everywhere, working in and around everyone and always in love blessing everyone in His goodness. How about what Paul said: "in Him we live and move and have our being... we are God's offspring". And, oh, by the way, the "we" he is referring to is the "we" that especially includes all those pagan Athenians!

God is engaging everyone, everywhere. And He is telling His story through everything. Scripture, yes. The church, yes. But also nature. Internal whispers. Problem situations. Special moments. Great friends. Good movies. Beautiful music.

And candy.

I'm not suggesting we don't need to be born of the Spirit, nor am I being reductionist about faith in Jesus. I'm only saying that if we're not careful, we'll miss so many of the messages that God is sending us because we'll have disdain for the messengers. And I don't think, in the midst of all of he challenges and downright pain all around our lives, we can afford to miss these messages. Because everything on the surface is screaming loudly about how bad things are, how meaningless and petty our lives are, how many things we leave undone, how there's really no hope anymore, how nobody cares, and how alone we really are in this world.

Alone and confused and damaged and largely unloved.

I just think it's time to get below the surface, and look for God. In that same passage of Acts 17, Paul says that God is "not far from each one of us" (v. 26, again talking to those heathen Athenians). And here we are as His real sons and daughters, wondering if He's even with us! And sometimes we can feel so abandoned as we face life head-on without recognizing His nearness.

And why is that?

Maybe we're looking in the wrong places. Maybe we're just not looking at all. Maybe we've lost heart and have given up the search.

But I want to keep looking. Asking, seeking, knocking. Like Jesus said to.

Because if I can just lose my religion and get a hold of my heart again, I'll learn to have better eyes and ears to see and hear my God, wherever He is. And, incidentally, He's everywhere. And for each of us, that could be... well, anywhere!

In the beauty of the sunset. In the dialog of a movie. In the laugher of your kids. In the kiss of your spouse. In the middle of a project at work.

If you just look, you never know where He's going to come from with a message for you.

It just might be from next door, contained in a basket of candy... where He has hidden the secret message, "I love you - forever"!

Live Courageous!

Don't Die in Haran

Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan. But when they came to Haran, they settled there. Terah lived 205 years, and he died in Haran.

The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you."

So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran. He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Haran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there.

- Gen 11:31-12:5, NIV

I can remember what it felt like back in the days that Jan and I were dating, engaged and preparing to be married. There was so much life ahead of us, so much promise of what we would have together, so much anticipation of how deep our love would go, even as we would grow old together. For me, I don’t think I ever felt so much alive and in tune with the best part of what I understood to be me.

By the time of our wedding, my thoughts were something like, “this is going to be a great life, and I’m going to do some great things because the sun is shining so bright on the path ahead. My life is gonna count for something!” I wasn’t even sure what the something was yet, but somehow I knew there was all of this potential for greatness ahead, and it was all going to start with the love between my bride and me.

But something happened not too long after the honeymoon. I think they call it life. And without exception, it comes calling… to all of us. And when it does, you start to find out some things about the real you. And they might leave you feeling just a little shaken about the “you” you’ve come to know.

Life definitely surprised us both. Pretty soon, romance between us had given way to other interests. The intimate conversations evaporated, as stuff that had to be done seemed to multiply. There were these demands from work and bills to pay and other distractions and pursuits that just seemed more interesting - or important. And something very slowly started to die. Before long, I think I just kind of figured that this was just what happens. Things were OK. They were nice. It was just the way life was.

And so I settled. Just like Terah did on his journey with his family. You read that too, right? Where the scripture says, “they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan”. But Terah never made the destination! He got partway there, maybe halfway. And then life happened. And, “when they came to Haran, they settled there.” We’re not told why. Maybe the land was “nice” or “comfortable”. Or maybe Terah was too “tired”. Maybe he just got caught up in the local camel races and got distracted. Who knows?

But, whatever the reason, we know the journey ended. Because he settled somewhere short of his destiny (and we know it was his destiny because Abram was told to go exactly where his father failed to reach).

The scripture that follows is possibly one of the saddest in the Old Testament: “Terah lived 205 years, and he died in Haran.” Did you catch that? He lived more than twice as long as any of us will, and he died exactly where he settled… short of his destiny! I wonder if he had finished his journey if we might be talking about the “blessing of Terah” today instead of the “blessing of Abraham”!

Why do we settle? How do we constantly end up short of our journey? How is that we lose sight of what really matters when “life happens”? And why do so many of us experience life and death in Haran?

Maybe because we’re not really living anymore.

Maybe because we’ve lost heart.

I think the answer might be found in the way God deals with Abram. In the chapters of Genesis that follow, we see God relentlessly pursuing Abram and bringing one experience and one word after another to confirm His promise to the man Whom he called His friend. And He does something extraordinary in that process. He changes Abram’s name to Abraham. He gives Abraham his true identity. And with it, his purpose. His calling. His destiny.

And Abraham does something extraordinary. He believes God when there’s no hope. He stands. He remains.

And reaches his destiny.

Fast-forward back to Jan and me. For too long, life had mostly just been happening. And we had spent far too many years in Haran. But, over the past couple years especially, God has helped both of us find our hearts again, and find one another again as well. And He has healed so much in my heart in particular that I am changed more than I can even explain. And slowly, but most certainly coming alive again.

And the point of this is that within that healed heart is my true identity; my essence; who I really am, and what I’m really here to do. And that simply changes everything. So as for our family, we’re packed and getting back on the road. The one that leads to Canaan. To the future and the hope in our hearts. To our destiny.

How about you? The journey unfolds before each of us. Will you allow God to do what He did for Abraham as He brings you deep into the territory of your own heart? There is truth to be found there by His Spirit as there is nowhere else. But we all have to be open to the experiences He gives us as life happens around us, and as He brings meaning into all of the moments of our lives where we are looking to Him. Will you focus on Him as the interpreter of your life and of the significance of what is going on in your own heart? Will you ask Him for the truth of His heart in every step you take? And will you trust and respond from your heart to what He reveals to you?

If so, you will start to uncover some things that will ignite you, strengthen you, bring you alive from your heart. Because it’s only there that your identity and your purpose and your destiny will be revealed. And it’s only there that you can find the power and courage to fulfill it!

After all, life will happen. It always does. The question is, will you live it in Haran… or Canaan?

Live Courageous!

A Place Most Real

A time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.

- John 4:23-24, NIV

As I have continued to seek God on a deeper understanding of prayer, I found myself meditating on this particular scripture. And I think it was God-directed because He seems to be pulling out all the stops these days to get me to see how real and accessible His kingdom is.

That is, if you look in the right place.

When you pray - when you worship - do you look in the right place? Moreover, do you actually go to that place? Because I think this is what Jesus is driving at in these verses... that you actually have to transcend the limitations of your mind/soul if you want to really connect with God!

Let me explain it like this: Jesus, in talking with Nicodemus in John 3, made some bold statements about being born "from above", and born "of the Spirit". He then went on to talk about those that were born of the spirit being like the wind, in that people can see the effects of the wind around them but can't tell where it came from or where it's going. And He said that everyone born of the Spirit would be like that... like the wind. In other words, they're not going to be operating in a linear, logical, predictable way of life. They're going to be flowing in an unseen dimension!

And then here He is in the next chapter of John telling us that God is in fact, a Spirit (of course the Father of all spirits!), and that He is seeking out people that will worship Him in spirit and in truth. Add to this some significant scripture in 1 Corinthians where Paul tells us that the natural (the word is actually soulical) man - the man of the mind - cannot understand the things of God but that the spiritual man understands all things, and you have the picture I believe God wants us to see: that we're not going to have true interaction with God in the space between our ears, so to speak.

So, enough theology already. God is Spirit... not consisting of anything of the substance of this natural realm. He exists in a different realm, in a different place, in a different form. He insists we worship Him (and, by implication, know Him) in exactly that realm of the spirit, and that we do so in truth (which literally means uncovering and making manifest the reality of something). And we know we can do this because as believers, we are born of that exact same substance - of the spirit. And we are spiritual beings!!!

Now move this into your prayer experience, and I think that's exactly what we start to have - experiences! Not a list of stuff we have to get through. Not a carefully-worded petition that will all go for naught if we don't get the words right. Not even a beautifully constructed and poetic flow of words about just how wonderful the Lord is.

No... we're not connecting with God in a life-changing way, or in a Kingdom manifesting way until we are there, with God, in a place of raw truth, in the realm that He exists in, as spirit-beings connecting heart-to-heart with the Father of our true selves.

It isn't just that we get to the place of real worship and prayer and communion here. It's more that we discover the reality of our lives in Jesus here. This is home. This is real. This is who we are. This is the essence of our very beings and our very purpose. And this is the place where we ask. Where we humble our hearts before our God and Father and where He truly, really, actually, experientially meets with us. Where we become one with Him. Where whatever we ask, He does because we are now in the place where His will and His ways and His heart reign. Where, you might say, His story is being told and we find our places in it.

And you already know where that place is and how to get there if you've really begun to authentically live from your heart. Because this realm is found right there - in the deep place of your very own heart!

It is this very place we must become acquainted with. It is this very place we must learn to love. And it is this very place where we will find our lives and our true hearts. And find Jesus. Really. Face to face. Heart to heart. It's time to get used to it and allow the life of the spirit to become something not weird, not imaginary (although our imaginations are a key gateway to that place), and not just "conjured up". Because once you go there, you can be sure what you're seeing, hearing, touching, smelling, etc is very real. More real than the chair you're sitting in right now!

So, the next time you pray, expect to end up somewhere other than where you are when you begin. Look for God in the spirit by looking for Jesus there. And then intentionally, really, passionately go there. With all your heart. It is, according to Jesus, the only place you'll find Him.

Live Courageous!

The Ache of Goodness

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

- Gen 1:31, NIV

I was working on some stock photos for a brochure a couple of days ago, and was coming across some pretty amazing images. I was in search of a particular kind of forest scene - one that was actually a little foreboding - and in the process I saw probably hundreds of pictures of autumn in the forest.

Now fall has always been somewhat mesmerizing for me. I get caught up in the colors and the crispness of the air and the blueness of the sky... and that incredible smell of leaves. I often go to the park and walk the trails, praying, thinking, contemplating my surroundings and just becoming immersed in the experience. But something else always seems to accompany this encounter with beauty, and if I could find a word to capture it, I might say that it's a feeling of profound sadness... it's an ache.

And with all of this, of course, come the memories. Times from so many years ago when I could actually enjoy this sort of thing - playing football among the leaves with my buddies or maybe driving around with my mom and dad checking out all the parks at peak color - without the weight that I seem to just always feel pressing on my shoulders. The worries. The questions about what has become of life and where the hopes and promises went. The disappointments. The stuff out of order and unfinished. You know. The Ache.

I've been perplexed about all of this for a long time now. I am really, truly learning how to respond to the rhythms of my heart and I'm so thankful to God for bringing me to this awareness. But I never could understand why every exposure to some kind of beautiful or joyful moment that would resonate in my heart has always seemed to be accompanied by this... Ache.

That is, until last night.

I found a tape of a three-year old message from a BCC Saturday night. I was curious because there was no title information on the label. And so I played it. And I think I got an answer about the Ache.

What I was preaching about on this tape was one of two messages I have done over the years on innocence. What I didn't preach about was the Ache. But I discovered something about it through the tape. Its source. Its power. Its persistence. And I think I know now why stuff that is truly good and pure and beautiful brings pain at some level of our hearts sometimes.

We Ache because we grieve. You see, something was forever lost to our natural lives all the way back in Genesis 3. We lost God. The garden. The Tree of Life. Our lives. Our hearts. We lost our innocence. And every reflection of that kind of beauty, that kind of goodness, that kind of purity and wholeness and holiness (and this is so visible in creation!) reminds our broken places of what we have lost. We have lost the very essence of the goodness of who we were made to be. And that can touch at the deepest levels of our souls.

And so we mourn. We Ache.

But God is saying something here. Whispering deeper than the pain in our hearts. Reminding us to see what He does. He sees us new. And whole. And pure. And good. And righteous. And innocent. No, it's not our inherent goodness, but the goodness and beauty and wholeness and purity He brings about in us in Jesus.

But it's not just a way God "sees" us. It's true. It's real. It's who we are... pure, whole, good - beautiful! And yet we would struggle at some level to believe this. Life becomes so cold, so dark, so ugly... so full of pain. And God says He loves us, and it's so hard to get that.

Isn't it?

I mean, every kind of love most of us have ever known has come with those conditions. Those qualifiers. Those stipulations. And now we have God who just says He loves us. period. That He is love. Period. And it's so hard to believe it. To really fall in love with Him. To respond to that love in purity... or goodness... or innocence.

And so, we ache. And we'll keep aching when we encounter beauty until we accept the beauty of God... of us... of our lives and our hearts.

My prayer for all of us who hunger and thirst for righteousness(and goodness and beauty and wholeness) to come alive in us is that of Paul, when he prayed in Ephesians 3 that we would know the love of Christ that passes knowledge; that we would be filled up with the fullness of God. Because in that fullness there is all that is good and pure and beautiful.

And only in that fullness is there no more Ache.

Jesus, help us know your love in such reality that there is nothing in us but the fullness of You; of Your love!

Live Courageous!