Monday, February 12, 2007

Losing the Gavel

Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
- Rom 14:4, New International Version


I want to try and keep this short tonight , because what I have to say is really all too simple.

It's just that it's happened again, like so many times before.

I judged.

I was thinking about somebody and going through what amounts to a checklist in my mind. You know the ones - where a company places their product in a table or chart with a couple of competitors and then lists features that their product has (and the others don't typically have). And then each feature is checked off with regards to which product has that feature. And of course - at least if the company has any kind of marketing savvy at all - their products will show many more features checked off and the consumer will think, "surely this is the best product on the face of the earth... I''ll take 10!"

That's what I do, you know. I make checklists. In my head. I see how I measure up against other people. And you know how it goes.... I have to list the features so I come out on top. I want to be the best on the face of the earth. Or at least I want other people to believe that. maybe that gets me past more of my own rejection.

I did it a couple of times in the past day or two, just casually, you know. But when I had my table filled out, I was finding myself wanting to fix the other people on the list. I thought things like, "if _____ would just be able to see _____ the way I do, he could really get out of his situation". And the I made too big of a leap. I started to ask God how He could give me the chance to impart my wisdom about _____ to my brother. And before it started, the conversation was brought to an abrupt halt.

By God.

He immediately revealed to my heart how prideful and condescending that attitude was, and then, to make matters worse, how often I have gone there, either on one side (I'm better than my brother) or the other (my brother is better than me). And I'm being really vulnerable here, because as I write this I feel like such a jerk and wonder if there's anybody else out there that stumbles over this. Because it seems to find its way under my feet. A lot. Too often.

And, you know, it all progresses innocent enough. Just trying to understand what God's doing in me and others. But it can spiral downhill way too fast. And then, although it can still look legit, it certainly isn't innocent anymore! And it's not anything about what God's doing either!

So I humbly submit to you that I have blown this way too many times and that it stinks as sin to God, even as it is a very core sin. And I am guilty. And repentant. And forgiven. But I want to be so much more... aware.

Funny, up until not too long ago, I thought I was one of the least judgmental people I knew (that may have been a clue of an issue, by the way - cause there I was with my chart again even in that very thought!). Lately, the thing God has been showing me is how "underground" the root of judgment goes. I imagine it goes all the way back to the root of the tree of knowledge, if you get my point!

So how about you? Where do you judge and how do you do it? Who tends to get the brunt? Does it make you out to look good or bad? How has it affected your life? Or am I the only one for whom the "shoe fits"?

I think this last point is especially important. What affect is our judging having on each other and those around us? Could it be this is the giant obstacle to love we still have left to overcome?

If so, I'm ready to take it head-on, if not fully able. I want to get rid of all of the roots from of that tree, not just the ones that look really bad on the surface. I want to kill the tree of knowledge because it always comes back to kill me. I want to live in God's life. And judging is just never gonna get into that flow all the way.

So rather than compare ourselves, let's just recognize the subtleties of judging . Cause it is very much the way we live when we're living from our heads. And all that results in is death.

I suppose God is driving this home in me because of the call He's placing on me and this church to Love Truly. There's no room for judgment if we're going to experience all the fullness God intends.

But then, there's never any room for such things when we're talking about the room where Jesus lives... our hearts!

Live Courageous!


Friday, February 02, 2007

God Lives Next Door

Jan and I were talking in our kitchen yesterday about a pretty much everyday kind of something, when I heard a knock on our door. She was doing dishes, so I went to the door and opened it to find our next door neighbor, a Hispanic lady, Suzy, standing there. She asked me how we were all doing (we don't know her very well as she's only been actively living there for just over a month) and proceeded to give me a nice basket neatly arrayed with what must have been hundreds of pieces of candy of all sorts. Of course, I said "thanks" with sincerity and then offered to go get my wife... but she just said, "no, don't make her come out in the cold... I just wanted to say hi." Then she headed back home.

Of course I took the basket in and showed Jan right away. Of course I opened up the wrapper and ate a couple pieces. Of course we talked about how cool the gesture was. But then I shared my feelings about how Latinos seem so relational to me and how we could learn so much from their cultures, and out of nowhere God seemed to interrupt me in mid-thought.

"It's me."

"What? What's You, Lord?"

"The candy. It's not a Hispanic thing. It's me. I just wanted to love you through Suzy."

My next thoughts were interesting, and just a little narcissistic. "She did that", I mused, "because she's seen God in Jan and me".

"No", the Voice countered. "She did that because she saw what I was doing and just did it too. I'm still trying to get through to you with my love, remember? She just did the thing my Spirit was already moving in and it was Me through her that brought you that candy. She did it because it was me. Like I said."

Now, I don't even know what kind of relationship Suzy has with Jesus. And I certainly don't know if she "heard" God tell her to bring that gift. All I know is now I was staring into that basket of candy and seeing the love of my Father. And I started to tear up. God was now speaking directly through the candy... directly to me: "I love you and I'll never quit showing you if you'll just let me".

And once again, I am undone.

God is so much bigger and better and more awesome than I can contain in my database or on my hard drive of a brain! And now my heart is pondering Him in ways I never could have considered before.

I had just read, just the day before this, the scripture in Acts 17, where Paul is explaining to the philosophers at Athens exactly Who the "unknown God" is that they were speculating about. Paul said something there that may rock our theology just a bit.

Cause you see, we "believers" think we have a lock on God working in our lives. We tend to think that before we get "saved", God is just mad and distant and throwing some extra logs on the fires of hell to get it just a little bit hotter to fry our butts. We tend to think that He has no use for or remotely kind thoughts toward anyone until that magic moment when he or she prays that "sinners' prayer", and asks Jesus in his or her heart. Then, presto! Jesus comes into your heart, and for the first time in your life, God now is fully engaged and you're the apple of His eye and His beloved child.

All or nothing. Feast or famine. Heaven or hell. God as loving Father or God as vengeful judge.

How about this: God everywhere, working in and around everyone and always in love blessing everyone in His goodness. How about what Paul said: "in Him we live and move and have our being... we are God's offspring". And, oh, by the way, the "we" he is referring to is the "we" that especially includes all those pagan Athenians!

God is engaging everyone, everywhere. And He is telling His story through everything. Scripture, yes. The church, yes. But also nature. Internal whispers. Problem situations. Special moments. Great friends. Good movies. Beautiful music.

And candy.

I'm not suggesting we don't need to be born of the Spirit, nor am I being reductionist about faith in Jesus. I'm only saying that if we're not careful, we'll miss so many of the messages that God is sending us because we'll have disdain for the messengers. And I don't think, in the midst of all of he challenges and downright pain all around our lives, we can afford to miss these messages. Because everything on the surface is screaming loudly about how bad things are, how meaningless and petty our lives are, how many things we leave undone, how there's really no hope anymore, how nobody cares, and how alone we really are in this world.

Alone and confused and damaged and largely unloved.

I just think it's time to get below the surface, and look for God. In that same passage of Acts 17, Paul says that God is "not far from each one of us" (v. 26, again talking to those heathen Athenians). And here we are as His real sons and daughters, wondering if He's even with us! And sometimes we can feel so abandoned as we face life head-on without recognizing His nearness.

And why is that?

Maybe we're looking in the wrong places. Maybe we're just not looking at all. Maybe we've lost heart and have given up the search.

But I want to keep looking. Asking, seeking, knocking. Like Jesus said to.

Because if I can just lose my religion and get a hold of my heart again, I'll learn to have better eyes and ears to see and hear my God, wherever He is. And, incidentally, He's everywhere. And for each of us, that could be... well, anywhere!

In the beauty of the sunset. In the dialog of a movie. In the laugher of your kids. In the kiss of your spouse. In the middle of a project at work.

If you just look, you never know where He's going to come from with a message for you.

It just might be from next door, contained in a basket of candy... where He has hidden the secret message, "I love you - forever"!

Live Courageous!